Sydney is from Dallas, Texas and a graduate of TNOYS’ Young Adult Leadership Council. She is passionate about using her voice to spread awareness for youth and young adults struggling with their mental health. By sharing her lived experience, she aims to amplify youth voices by spreading education and knowledge to create systems-change. Her involvement in a high school project inspired her to be an advocate for young people. She helped design an after-school program for students to receive therapy.
Sydney recently worked with TNOYS on a blog post about her experience with mental health, the support that could have helped her, and how she hopes her voice can make a difference for other young people in similar situations.
Trigger warning: the post contains references to childhood sexual abuse.
It was a chilly September evening when my innocence was first tampered with. At five, I didn’t yet realize that this would be the beginning of a journey that would test every ounce of resilience I had and shape my future perspectives.
Both of my parents have always been people who have an alcohol dependence, and they surrounded themselves with people with similar issues. They had a family friend who would come over pretty consistently, and they’d have drinks until late at night. I’ve always had a hard time sleeping, and he would drunkenly join me on the couch in the living room while I was watching my favorite cartoons. The more I was in this scenario over time, the more damage it would cause me.
4th grade came, and our counselor at my elementary school did a presentation with dolls and taught us about consent. That’s when I had the realization— I had been abused. I told my mom but didn’t have her full support. My mental health started to decline, I began to self-harm in sixth grade, and the toll on my mental health resulted in me going to an inpatient facility and eventually a Partial Hospitalization Program. CPS surprise-visited the house later that year twice, and I ended up going to their county building to talk about what happened to me. During these encounters, I felt that I wasn’t able to advocate for myself or given the chance to advocate for myself. The case was dismissed with no other involvement from CPS.
Things just got worse before high school: I had multiple suicide attempts, and, when I was 18, my physical health started to plummet. I had to go to the ER a few times because I couldn’t process any food that I ate, I was dehydrated, and I was losing weight fast. Initially, I was told by the doctor treating me that this was likely due to my anxiety. While some of my health symptoms were the result of mental health barriers and trauma, I eventually learned that I also had colitis and a potassium deficiency. Despite this, testing for my physical health conditions was delayed and I felt that doctors did not look further into my physical health once they learned about my mental health diagnosis history. My health concerns were not heard, and I went without proper treatment and felt discriminated against solely for my diagnosis history.
During this time, my job and a few specific providers helped me significantly. At the time I was employed at Lush, a job that gave me hope, passion, and the support of managers who were very understanding and flexible with my situation. I am also grateful for the work of a trauma therapist who specializes with eating disorders and the help of a nutritionist: these individuals knew how to help me, listen to me, and find providers that were like-minded.
Looking back on it all now, I see that those moments of hardship were not just significant obstacles, but stepping stones that led me to the strength I carry today. The night spent wondering how I would make it through taught me the value of perseverance and patience, and challenges led to empathy for others and a passion to help.
I am currently working on achieving my goals of providing and advocating for young people and creating systems change by making connections between nonprofits, and providing knowledge on these issues with a kind heart to people who have questions about navigating systems or providing resources. TNOYS helps me amplify my voice to advocate for change, and I have a lot of passion for education about childhood abuse and the major impacts it has on the lives of individuals and their surroundings. I share my story and provide input from my various experiences in and out of multiple systems, while also sharing my knowledge on trauma-informed care to help providers and other youth feel more comfortable talking about mental health and the impact of trauma.